


Intentionally mistaken

by Viviena



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Character Death, M/M, Nogitsune, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2018-01-24 03:03:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1589321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viviena/pseuds/Viviena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nogitsune took Stiles over completely and Derek did what he had to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intentionally mistaken

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Умышленные ошибки](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1589342) by [Viviena](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viviena/pseuds/Viviena). 



> Not betaed and English is still not my mother tongue so probably lotta mistakes. Any help is welcomed. =)

Derek’s feelings always were too strong and wrong timed. He kind of used to it already. When he should have been thinking only about grades and basketball, he fell in love so deeply that Paige got killed. When he should have been sorting it out in his head and grieving his loss, he wanted a distraction so badly that he let Kate annihilate his family. When he should have been building up his bond with Laura, his last important person, he sunk in his misery and guilt and eventually lost her too. Peter, alpha powers, new pack, which he made so reckless and lost as fast as he got them, Jennifer. All that he ever did ended up as a huge disastrous mistake hurting people around him. When he finally understood it, Derek took it as every hit of his fate – bowing his head with resign and acceptance of the weight of his new sins and kept moving on. Sometimes he wondered what was the point in this endless spiraling path of pain, but that was the only thing he knew how to do – endure and carry on. So he endured and carried on. 

Doesn’t take a genius to figure that his choice this time was also a mistake, probably one of the most dangerous ones. Since the fire Derek have stopped asking “why”. Even himself. Especially himself. He acted and tried his best to deal with the results of his actions without analyzing them. Because it was a useless and meaningless thing that can easily drag him into madness or suicide or possibly both. He had too many animal instincts in his core to allow himself this luxury. 

Derek had a strong suspicion that his instincts were deviant in some way, though. “Abomination” slowly suggested Stiles’ voice in his head. They were talking about the kanima last year, but it felt like in a past life. Many lives ago. Derek remembered his tone so perfectly, because that special combination of sounds held much more meaning, than an optimal word to describe a mutated shifter. Stiles’ eyes were glassy and inward focused when he said it. Could he possibly predict what was coming? 

But no, it was bullshit. No one knew what was coming. Not even Lydia who have heard the voices of the dead and living. 

If Derek yet asked himself why had he done it, the answer was simple. He owed Stile that much. Owed him more than any of others. His feelings were too strong and wrong timed: annoyance at the start, distrust after any kind of help, underestimation – constant. Desire, also constant. Trust – too late and when it just got harmful. 

Derek was bad with feelings and he knew it. Scott though. He may be still lacking a lot of qualities to become a real alpha, but he always understood other people’s feelings and did the right things. Even if they seemed to be so wrong on process, it always worked out well. That’s why he was such a good leader and never made disastrous mistakes. Even with Stiles. Derek was sure that Scott did all the right things. Believed his friend when he still could and even after. He was the only one to oppose Stiles’ decision to imprison himself in Eichen House. 

It’s just sometimes you will loose no matter what choice you take. Derek knew it oh so good, but had no idea how to explain it to Scott. 

Unlike Scott, he was mistaken all along. At first he could not believe that demon was in Stiles, because it was just ridiculous. When the number of dead people in a precinct after the explosion and in the hospital after the electricity madness exceeded a dozen, he had no urge to laugh anymore. Then Stiles real Stiles decided to close himself in a nuthouse and Derek though he had to respect his decision. Laura had always said that he doesn’t get it when you should drink with a friend and when to take the bottle out of their hands. Derek used to argue that he can’t get drunk anyways, but Laura would just shake her head in response and say she meant something entirely different. 

Everyone except Scott agreed it was a best thing to do and they persuaded him too. They fed Stiles’ conscious mind to the Nogitsune. 

Yet Scott was ready to fight for him till the end. Even later, God– even after Ellison. Derek had always had terrible relationships with Argents in general, but with Ellison they where even more fucked up. But he could honestly say that he had never wished her dead. Never wished to see Stiles in a cold proficient manner sliding a blade between his friend’s ribs. Derek’s wishes never meant anyways. 

When Peter got his final death in nearly same way, Derek didn’t know what he is supposed to feel. There was loss and relief but he really mostly worried how Stiles will deal with that much blood on his hands when he will become himself again. Probably, Scott just infected him with his blind faith in happy ending back then. 

When the eyes of agent McCall have closed for the last time and Sheriff Stilinski’s never did even after he passed away, they all understood there would be no happy ending this time. Derek clearly remembered the moment when Scott had dropped his last hopes and made another right decision. Stiles, the demon in him, stepped indifferently over his father’s dead body and rolled his eyes at their shocked expressions. Not a single emotion crossed his features and they got the last proof there was no Stiles there anymore. 

Derek knew that Scott considered his last decision a mistake a weakness and kept beating himself down for it. But Derek was sure in the opposite. They all knew that the creature must be destroyed and that Scott may not have the guts to do it. Probably it would be even worse if he did. Derek though, he could do it, they all knew he could. Just one more life on him. A new soul to join his legion of ghosts. 

And finally, for the first time in his life Derek got to do a right thing. No one doubted this decision, not even Scott who asked him in a choking voice, suppressing his tears. 

He stopped suppressing them on the funeral. In a small crowd on a cemetery everyone but Derek and Lydia did. She was standing with a blank and distant expression. Even Chris Argent did, though Derek honestly doubted that his single tear had anything to do with Stiles. More likely the man was finally catching up with his grief for Ellison that he would not allow himself before she was avenged. 

The coffin was empty. There were no even ashes to put in the urn, Derek made sure of it. After the short ceremony, small trickle of people clothed in black turned back to the cars, leaving him alone to watch the grave close as a healing wound under the shovels of two Isaak’s ex-colleagues. Derek was looking for a familiar feeling of mistake, but there was only peace in his heart and it was unnerving. Every time when he was sure that he is doing something right, it was a big mistake. Yet now, when he was actually certain he made a mistake, there was only calm assurance in the opposite. 

Derek exhaled and went back to his car, turning it away from the McCall’s house direction. That was the exact reason why he never analyzed himself or anyone else. Meaningless thing. He did what he had to and he will live with the consequences of his choice now.  
No one waits him to attend the dinner and he was not going to. He does not deserve it. Derek went were he belonged: away from people, deeper under the ground, far from the sunlight, into the concrete box of walls entwined with metal veins of pipes. His very own purgatory. 

“They put my real name on that stone, didn’t they?” snapped Stiles with annoyance, rising his hands in a fake despair. The old heavy chains covered with runes, hieroglyphs and God know which else symbols made a low metal hum. Derek dropped near the wall across him and tried ones again to figure how bad was his mistake this time. 

“No. Scott somehow made them keep it”

“Good” Stiles nodded with content. He wasn’t looking at Derek, but smiled weakly in the space. Derek wasn’t asking him if he was himself and Stiles wasn’t trying to convince him in it. They both knew the truth.


End file.
